Watching freckles

Watching freckles has become a way of life. A new and intriguing hobby, rather like reading tea leaves.


Three months ago I was diagnosed with a couple of patches of actinic keratosis.


The dermatologist was avuncular, friendly and very cheery. "Got this stuff now that gets rid of it. All be gone in three months."


He studied the rough patch now spreading across and down my nose. "Of course I will be able to operate if you do get skin cancer there," he said. He frowned a little, the smile disappeared. "It will be very painful, means cutting out bits of bone..."


Say no more.


But he did not have his prescription pad and gave me a note for the doctor instead.


That gave me time to hit the web to investigate my treatment and I worried and worried and then worried some more.


The patches were going to become severely inflamed, the skin would break and they would start weeping. I was going to look like a monster from the cartoon archives. It's bad enough teaching looking relatively normal. I could just imagine the reaction of my students when I turned up looking like a pestilential Baldric.


The web was not too encouraging either--no corroboration of the happy 100% success rate predicted --try 47%-83% --with my luck, I'd probably end up triggering the skin cancer I wss trying to avoid rather than eradicating its development.


There were no visible "Thanks to Efudix..." comments on the web logs. There were rather moans from sufferers saying how painful, unsightly, and dire their experience had been.


OK I'll be fair here --I did look up Efudix --warnings, counterindications or side effects. Obviously I wasn't looking for happiness.


"Actinic keratoses" said the doctor,one of his rare smiley days," Just sunspots --won't necessarily do anything. Come back is they change colour or get thicker."


Only 2% they say change into a squamous cell skin cancer. I trotted off quite happily , no prescription no pain.


I went back today -"The spot on my forhead is darker and thicker. Perhaps I could try cryosurgery."


It was not one of his smiley days. Having to start work at 3.30 pm was obviously painful. He studied the computer, nose to screen --his eyesight worse than mine.


"No we're going to use this cream --have you tried it yet?"


"Uh no. You were to write the prescription. We decided against it. And you said to come back if there was any change. So here I am."


His face stiffens. Patients are meant to be seen not heard. "hmmm I see here you came in October and had reservations."


It obviously doesn't say he agreed with me at the time. I specifically asked if he thought I was being silly not starting treatment immediately and he did say no -- for the sake of peace, I now see, and getting me out the door within my statutory ten minute appointment time.


I start treatment tomorrow and am keeping this log in the hope that it may someday help anyone like me who wants to know tha answers noone seems willing or able to give.


In the meantime, I have been awake since 4.30 am watching freckles, wondering whioh one is a lurking disaster waiting to happen.